Friday, March 7, 2008

God & I - Amma has become my God, my mother

By Kalpana Lajmi

I WAS an atheist when I first met Mata Amritanandamayi Devi at the insistence of a friend in 2004.

We had gone alongwith Bhupen Da, who was suffering from some infection at that time. We reached her Mumbai ashram at 1 am to see about two lakh people standing in a queue to receive a loving embrace from the hugging saint.

I wanted to turn around as I don’t like queues. Amma was sitting in the confines of her ashram, but somehow she knew that we, who were unknown to her, were waiting outside her ashram gate. She sent someone to bring us straight to her.

So my first meeting with her was a revelation in itself. I came in front of her and started crying. I am logical and don’t usually accept anything out of the norm.

Amma looked at Bhupen Da and said “Haa…an!” It was a feeling of two souls recognising each other. I was standing behind him, crying, feeling as though I was getting cleansed of toxins from within. She offered Bhupen Da some coconut water and when we reached home, his infection was gone.

Since then she has become my universal mother, my God. Amma is in a time and space dimension that is not of this world. I have a tremendous obsession to merge with her. When I hug her I can smell her spiritual fragrance.

She called me once when my soul was agonised and said, “I reside in your heart. You don’t have to come to me physically”. From that day I surrendered completely. I carry on with my responsibilities towards society and family, but I know I don’t want to be born again.

In January 2006, I became her complete devotee and she recited the Gurumantra separately in Bhupen Da’s ears and mine. These are never to be divulged.

She became my Satguru — the one who becomes the quintessential bridge between your soul and the supreme power. Amma is God with a name, a physical form. I only pray to her that I die without fear and that she carries my soul and lets it be merged with hers.

(As told to Uma Devarajan) — KALPANA LAJMI is a well-known film director, producer and writer


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